Lived Experience Forum

[elpossum]

I unexpectedly lost a friend and colleague yesterday, but today I had to be there today to support everyone else, informing people of the death, and being there for people to process it. But I'm struggling, it's increasing my thoughts about dying. Then I got physically assaulted just before I was meant to go home, and now I'm sore and feeling lost.

I just needed to express this to someone that doesn't know me. I know the feelings will pass but they feel really big right now. I've lost my friend and I don't know how long I can hold it all together.

Thanks for anyone that reads this. 

[NatureLover]

Hi @elpossum , I'm very sorry for your sudden loss 😞

Do you have a counsellor? Or have you heard of Griefline? 1300-845-745.

I'm sorry you got assaulted too! 

I hope you can cope OK, especially with the role you have at work, helping others...

[amber22]

Hey there @elpossum, 

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. It must be really challenging to have lost someone in your life and then have to be the messenger of it. I've been in that position before and it is heartbreaking. Please take care during this grieving time and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to, and give yourself that little bit extra time and love. We're here for you ❤️

I see that you said you were physically assaulted yesterday. I really hope that you're taking the right steps to report this, and get the professional help you need for this, it should not be taken lightly at all. Are you currently speaking to anyone about this/ or your thoughts of death? 

Sending hugs,

Amber22

[Former-Member]

hey there @elpossum, reaching out for support when you need it is so important. I'm sorry this is all happening at once. 

As a moderator, I've sent you a little email to check-in on your wellbeing. I would love it if you could respond when you can ❤️ 

[justanotherguy]

Hi @elpossum 

Sorry to hear of your loss, it must be hard, as mentioned there are support services if you need to talk to a professional.

As for the assault, that's terrible, have you been to the police? Bullies usually have some other issue that is worrying them and they take out their anger on people they think are weak. There is plenty of information in books and online about how to deal with bullies, I've seen a few in the past. I think many were bullied at school and all the old memories sometimes come back.

[Owlunar]

I don't know you @elpossum  - so that's fine - we are starting from scratch here.

Grief is a complex process - in this case you have been bereaved suddenly of a friend you loved no doubt - someone you were close to - I do understand.

For whatever reason while you are still reeling from your loss you are in the position of telling and supporting other people - that's really tough yards - I really get it. I have actually been in a similar situation.

I am sincerely sorry for your loss - and the circumstances you find yourself in now. I take it no one is comforting you and yes - you need someone's shoulder for support. You have every right for all the emotions you are feeling right now.

The young man who sat in the desk next to mine was killed in an accident - we were both 21 and we shared some of our work. The news of his sudden death really threw me - I was the senior girl and felt the need to set an example - I swallowed my grief and just worked. However - the grief came back to haunt me many years later.

Therefore - I suggest you do ring Grief Line - as someone else suggested - 

or Lifeline - 13 11 14. Grief work is hard work - we all need to care for ourselves first in order to give the best we have to other people - you haven't had time to do that

All the best Elpossum - the people here are accepting and understanding beings.

Owlunar