this is inspired by the often tumultuous and painful relationship with my ex
it was confusing inspiring and all consuming
it was toxic poison infecting my very core
it was hell
but f@#k me dead if i didn't love that sh!t
Relationsh!ts and loathe affairs...
our love was the thing of dreams
you know those nightmares where everyone screams
it was so powerful you sought reprieve
but if you loved me why the f@#k did you let me leave
our love was a thing of chaos babe
it would lead us both unbeknownst to an early grave
our love well it had f@#king teeth
if you loved me why couldn't you seen the pain beneath
our love feasted on encounters of flesh
it was as necessary and as needed as our own breath
more times than i care to count it scared me
why the f@#k didn't i ever feel as if you truly loved me
the way i loved you with my entire whole
you were my love my life my body and my soul
day to day you would attempt to destroy me
ensnare me and trap em in a prison never to be free
you tried to change me into what i am not
the man you fell for wild and crazy you seemed to have forgot
what drew me to you was your compassion and heart
your sense of self and sensibility i craved from the very start
for as long as i could i held onto that ideal as i died
i would never dare change you i never would have f@#king tried
but change is what you wished i would have did
tried to fit me into a box that i never ever would have fit
flesh to flesh became our only connections
as we had grown apart and aimed in two different directions
i just wanted to be the best i could be
and you just wanted whats best for both you and me
but i am a realist or nihilist i know i am flawed
would never achieve what you f@#king wanted no matter how much effort i poured
into the task that destroyed me and taunted me inside
i was feeling abandoned by you and in my heart love died
i could no longer pretend that i was your man
no longer felt the comfort of your embrace or your hand
i want you to leave me i would scream in my head
i would leave the room and wish that when i returned you where dead
i wanted so bad to be free that i would grieve
but i f@#king loved you so much that i couldn't i wouldn't just leave...
