Moving on update

[Sneaklight]

I'm having trouble moving on I really liked her and I thought she liked me for 3 years and I was wrong and I feel like a fool

I made a  stupid playlist on Spotify for her 

She never saw it cause it did not work out the way I wanted and it feels bad I really don't Wana delete it yet cause it hurts 

I truly feel like the but end of the bread everyone skips over I feel emotionally tired all i do now is sleep in and blast music on my headphones 

I bought new ones that are louder so I can't hear my thoughts 

I want to be loved so bad 

And I don't Wana hear "you'll get it once you work on yourself" cause I try and never get shit in return

I feel so ugly it's like all my insecurities were confirmed 

I wish I could [edited by moderator] make myself look thinner and more manly

Tinder has shown me nobody loves my body  they just Wana  use it 

[Jynx]

Hi @Sneaklight - just letting you know I've edited your post to remove some graphic details. Let us know if you have any concerns. 

I'm hearing how hard it is to sit with these feelings of loss and yearning for a close relationship. It can be incredibly hard to manage this kind of intangible grief, so I'm glad you're reaching out and talking about it here. 

I think we all deserve love, regardless of where we are in our recovery. We shouldn't have to be 'healed' to feel like we matter. And you do matter, regardless of how things might feel right now. 

[MatchaToad]

Hi @Sneaklight 

I can see that @Jynx has already come in with some lovely support, and I thought I'd do the same.

I want to start by saying that what you're feeling right now is valid, although it is not necessarily 'stupid' or 'foolish.' Spending three years caring and yearning for someone is a significant investment of your own heart, and when that isn't returned, it is a genuine loss. It's a form of grief, and you're allowed to treat it as such.

I hear your frustration with the typical advice people give. When you're already exhausted from trying, being told to 'work on yourself first' can honestly feel like you're being told to run a marathon with a broken leg. Sometimes, 'working on yourself' is literally just surviving the day, and if all you can do right now is put on your headphones and retreat, then that is what you need to get through the pain and loss you're experiencing.

Please don't rush yourself to delete that playlist or 'get over it' on a specific timeline. And regarding what you said about your body and how you feel seen by others - I know it's hard to believe right now, but platforms like Tinder are often a terrible reflection of your actual inherent value. From my own experience, it rewards the superficial, but it cannot measure the depth of a person.

I don't think you're the 'butt end of the bread' (even though I do eat it by dipping it into soup haha). You're a person in a lot of pain who deserves the same kindness you were ready to give to someone else. I know I'm a stranger, but I wanted to make sure you knew that your feelings are valid, your presence is noticed, and you don't have to have it all figured out today.

Sending you lots of strength 💚