Writing As A Form Of Therapy

[Silenus]

Word...

Teach yourself to look upon the inner vistas and the outer... truth is a pathless land...

When looked upon right, all of existence is majestic... I abide lovingly in quiet (yes, quiet - I can do quiet... hahaha...), truly observing what Krishnamurti calls "what is" and I call "the Really Real"... deconstructing and getting beyond the noise and chatter of incessant thinking, to the quiet that is always there behind all noise, waiting for you to notice its gentle unjudging peace and serenity...

It is an effortless thing, for if there is effort, there is expenditure of energy, powered and focused by will and purpose, and all of that rubbish... the actively seeking and striving and urges to be "better" or "other" than we currently are... the internal conflicts, as fragments and parts of your concept of "self" struggle for supremacy... the constant analysis and measurement that society has conditioned so very deeply in us - what is better, what is worse; who is the brightest or most beautiful; who has the top marks; who is the sports star who wins and who is the loser - on and on and on it goes, all the way through school to adulthood - better car; bigger house; always chasing chasing chasing...

It's all just rubbish... a waste of our preciously limited life energy, as we spray it indiscriminately on superficial matters in our chaotic stumble from babe to child to youth to (supposedly) adult, and on into old age and the inevitable final destination that awaits even gods... death... all of it is rubbish...

It stops us observing the wonder of all of existence... right there before us, but hidden from view by our limited perceptions and senses, hidden by our "thinking" mind - the world of thought and ego and this absurd notion that there exists a division between "self" and "other" - hidden by our very own thinking minds with the endless chatter and the chaotic often cryptic changes in direction, the drama and the conflict and the he-said she-said stuff - all of this projection of our selves onto what is... the Really Real... hidden from view by our selves...

Learn how to remove your self from the equation... allow it to chatter away... don't even ignore it, for that is an effort of will and a fragmentation that leads to conflict... there is a quiet, beyond all noise, and when you find it... pow!!!

It is an effortless thing... to constantly fall away from yourself and towards yourself and beyond... to the quiet contemplation of the quiet beneath it all... at one with it is "what is", and it is through the observation of what is that we can finally shed all the layers and observe the oneness of everything...

Meditation... true meditation without the mantras and the chanting and the prayers and breathing and bells and crossed legs or funny walk... when all the trimmings and ceremony are removed... true meditation is a quiet observation of the quiet that is beyond all the noise...

Love and Compassion... these things come from an understanding of the oneness of everything... there is no separation between you and everything around you, everything in existence... what you do, you do to yourself... if you hurt another, you hurt yourself... when you see the suffering everywhere, it is your suffering... this oneness of it all... together in the Really Real... Love and Compassion flow from this...

Respect and Gratitude... these things come from a quiet observation of what is... here you are, aware and able to explore and observe, a part of it all... when you are aware of the wonder all around, your heart is full of joy... Respect and Gratitude flow from this...

It is an effortless thing, for effort is a path, and truth is a pathless land...

SelfEvolutionRevolution...

[Silenus]

My latest poem... written in a style called prose poetry... allows for a nice flow or stream of consciousness...

Hugs and happy vibes beaming to you all. I hope this poem inspires and challenges thought...

What Thought Thought

What thought thought, thinking away in our heads... ideas rule our lives... ideas bring the world to its knees... before the deed, there is the thought... I need or want to do this thing, and so I harness my potential power to action, and I do the thing... all ruled at the start by an idea... this intangible creation of our minds, thought, simply a biochemical firing of neurons in our brains... a little voice in our heads, listened to, heeded, and made real by an act of will and a desire to do... thinking a thought is never challenged, we never think to think about thought, unless in turmoil and pain we are caught... then we question and challenge our thoughts (always and ever using more thoughts)... the constant chatter of thoughts makes a brain turn insane... what thought thought... thought thought it was separate from all instead of connected... then thought could think about "me" and "other"... thought thought it would be clever, and created the concept of nations... then thought could think about "us" and "them"... thought thought that it wanted more stuff than it needed, so thought thought up the concept of property... then thought could think about "mine" and "yours"... thought thought that it was necessary to measure and compare, and came up with the concept of money... then thought could think about so very many things... everywhere thought thought it looked, it saw division and conflict, with fragments of self fighting each other... thought against thought, begetting more thought... ever thinking ever more thoughts... [A lightbulb lights] here's a thought... think about your thoughts before you see them through, for the thoughts are there before you say and do... [A larger brighter lightbulb lights] what thought thought... perhaps thought shouldn't think so very much...

[Former-Member]

@Silenus lovely to see you back.
My question in all this is how to we make ourselves 'enough'. My thoughts are always centred around 'enough'. It seems that I'll never be good enough for me. I know this is a tangent slightly to the left of what you have written but is encompassed in it as well. Just for today how do I get through thinking I've done enough and I am enough?

[Decadian]

I really like that @Silenus

Very thought provoking. Very subtle

Thanks for sharing

Decadian

[Decadian]

I do love thinking @Silenus - I don't know where the point of thinking and over-thinking is - but maybe when the thought becomes unpleasant

Still - I think

Now I might have to look this up but Humpty Dumpty is a very interesting character in history - quite possibly King Charles1 who was the only British King to be executed - and then - no one could put him back together - maybe Charles was well and truly glad to be out of the argument - civil war and all that - but whatever - when the egg breaks it can't be put back together - we could scramble the egg - but once scrambled the egg is in worse shape -

Any further would be over-thinking

However - I did read philosophy in my first year and battled with Rene Descartes and the idea of being etc - and the problem of dreams and eventually come to cogito ergo sum -  I think therefore I am - and  at the bottom line this is the basis of your poem I think - (think - gotcha)

An animal mighr know something - eg - if I yowl or bark at the door - it might open - but it cannot think - some pets live a long time with humans and learn behaviours but they cannot think. However - humans can - and maybe some of the other great apes have thought too - and it's really possible some monkeys think things out

How provactive your poem and your post is @Silenus - thanks for sharing that

Decadian

[Silenus]

Hiya @Former-Member...

I think what you ask about is spot on... how do we make ourselves 'enough'...

It strikes at the heart of the personal breakthroughs I've had in being able to deal with the moodstorms and thoughtstorms of my particular manifestation of loopy...

Let's explore this together... do you have time?

How do I get through thinking I've done enough and I am enough...

Hahaha... let's see how far down the rabbit hole we go...

Our brains... our thoughts... our concept of self... it all ties together, doesn't it?

Our brains seem to be hardwired to fix problems... there's the problem of survival... ensuring there's enough food, water and shelter to survive... solving this problem, that's what survival is all about...

Since we live in a "civilization", most of our survival problems are fairly trivial... scrounge enough money together to pay the bills and put some food on the table...

But the point is, our brains are conditioned from a very early age to fix problems... it's more than just the survival instinct and all of that important life-and-death stuff...

As babies, we are given toys. Often, because smart people think that it's a good idea, the toys that we are given as babies have some element of dexterity or problem-solving involved... put the round peg in the round hole, match the thing to the other thing, that sort of stuff...

Problems... teaching our brains to solve problems...

Jigsaw puzzles... there's a thousand-piece problem, waiting to be solved... hahaha... and that's what we consider entertainment... breaking up a perfectly good picture into a thousand or more pieces, and then throwing them to the floor or strewing them across the table in a chaotic manner, only to start putting the pieces back together again...

Problems... teaching our brains to solve problems...

Then school starts... oh boy! Here we go! Nothing but problems for our brains to try and solve...

Learning to read... a problem... more of a problem for some than for others...

Mathematics... lots of problems... teaching our brains to solve problems...

The reality is that the world of our thoughts (our thinking brain's domain as voices, words, images, memories) is a very conflicted and scary place...

So many problems to solve... hahaha... and when there aren't enough problems to solve, to make ourselves feel better about things and feel more in control, we make problems up out of thin air...

Our thoughts, so adept at manufacturing worry, hurt, fear, anger and a bunch of other lesser helpful emotions... all out of thin air, for what is thought other than out of thin air?

An idea is not tangible, but the things that we say and do when we are driven by that idea, well... that stuff can move mountains in the tangible world of the Really Real...

So, to recap - we have a naturally problem-seeking mind... we feel great when we solve a puzzle or arrive at a solution...

Sudoku, crosswords, the weekly quiz...

Problems... teaching our brains to solve problems...

And how does our brain solve problems?

It looks at the problem. It measures the problem. It pokes and prods the problem. It makes value judgements about different scenarios, even about how severe the problem is. It analyses the problem further...

Driven by this desire to be free of a problem, we seek to change something, to transition from whatever state of existence we are in (where there is a problem) to a state of existence where the problem is gone or lessened...

It doesn't matter if it is an internal problem within our own world of our "Self", or if it is an external problem... the process that we follow is nearly always the same... analyse, measure, reason, measure again, and eventually arrive at the best possible solution to the problem...

Often, the solution to the problem brings more problems...

And that's just what our brains love, because solving problems is what it's all about... hahaha...

I have analysed myself for years... self-awareness, self-evolution, growth, regression, pick myself up, dust myself off, regrowth, reshape, respond...

Each traumatic life event or drama, looked at as a problem to be fixed, because it is obviously those things that have led me to be in this current state I am in... conflicted, afraid, hurting, angry, [insert your own particular flavour of negative emotional state here...]...

So, I go to see a therapist for a while... we talk about a bunch of stuff... uncover a bunch of other stuff... maybe get an insight into further problems...

Problems... teaching our brains to solve problems...

But wait...

What if I just said "Stop"? I'm going to challenge this "I'm broken and I need to be fixed" fixation that I have... I'm going to stop measuring and analysing and poking and prodding and finding problems that may or may not be real...

I'm going to accept what is... quietly, without any effort of will or intellect, I will observe what is...

Now, I have moved beyond the need to accept things... that is a wonderful step in our meditative journeys... I don't need to accept things, because I have no choice... that which is is that which is... the world doesn't care if I accept it or not...

I put down my measuring tools...

All of those analytical tools...

All of the voices of my thoughts, nagging at me, trying to make me feel guilty, just manufacturing problems out of thin air...

[Silenus]

Good morning @Decadian!

As always, your posts are a delight to read.

[Silenus]

This poem, the first that I attempted to write in the prose poetry style, really flowed out of me in no time at all... I think it was an attempt for my writing-as-therapy self to resolve some turbulence...

What I'm really trying to get at with this poem is to communicate the difficulties of talking about mental health issues... most people don't want to hear about it, and even fewer people know how to deal with it...

There Once Was A Beautiful Person

There once was a beautiful person. Not a skin-deep physically beautiful person. A beautiful person, through and through. Do no harm and help where you can beautiful person. Love and compassion beautiful person. Spread joy beautiful person... but this beautiful person was gifted-cursed... they had a beautiful heart and soul, despite having suffered through much hurt... at the same time, the pain they felt every day, inside and out, physical and mental... it had tested them and made them stronger... beauty through adversity... compassion and empathy, connecting to other hurt beauties... the sad smile is the most beautiful of all... but all that beauty came with a curse, for the gods are a fickle lot... all that pain, it had changed this beautiful person... their voice, earlier so bold, warm, caring and inviting... beautiful voice... now transformed to a hideous blood-curdling scream every time this still-beautiful person opened their mouth... [4th-wall-breaking aside to the audience] "Dum dum duuuuummmm!!!" Alas, this beautiful person, gifted-cursed so... how they all recoil away from this beautiful person... and so, a lonely beautiful person is left to never bring joy and healing to others, left all alone... where pain transformed and gifted-cursed this beautiful person, now loneliness brings its own gift-curse... learn to adapt, beautiful person... stand alone, beautiful person... never open your mouth again, beautiful person, for fear that the blood-curdling screams will chase them all away...

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member .... 💜🌷

Can you take that question outside yourself a bit .... ?

Think about how you might try to answer it if someone close to you were askin the question .... like your girlfriend, or one of your sons .....

It is important to understand that you are as important as anyone else in your life .... you count .... you matter .... just as much .... ❤

I sense you have an awful lot of compassion for others,but struggle to extend the same courtesy to yourself .... part of learning to be a friend to yourself ....

I think some of the answers you are looking for will start to materialise naturally when you apply this principle .....

You have your therapist, Phams worker, family and friends to help you step up to this .... you can do this .... I believe in you .... 💜💜💜

[Decadian]

Thanks @Silenus

I enjoy reading what you write too - you have given me a lot to think about with the beautiful thinking-cursed person - I think that's what you wrote - I will have to get back to it for the definition

There is so much layered thought there - it deserves thinking about

I think a lot - sometimes I take long walks just to think - I have never felt cursed by my thoughts - to me they are a gift

And I like a challenge

Dec