Mother's Day (TW)

So Mother's Day is on Sunday and if you're anything like me, it's a day you typically dread. Whether you're a mother yourself or you want to be a mum or your mum just wasn't great, it's a hard day isn't it?  You see all the beautiful gifts for mums in stores and it's hard, it's a day where you can and probably do, really miss your mum.    I'm a mother, my children are not on this earth, but I'm no less a mother. I can't be a part of my mother's life because it would put me in danger. But every mother's Day and special event I go to a public phone box and send her a message telling her that I love her and I'm ok.   5 years ago I wrote this   I am different in that I embrace my inner child and she is very much a conscious entity in me, and well she surprised me today. She made me pancakes and even bought me a present, and no I'm not crazy, she is the part of me that got neglected as a child, she never got to be that and she sees me as her mum, which is the sweetest thing and I love her like I do each of my angels in heaven.   I am generally a grieving mess on mothers day, but it's something different today, she made me feel like a mum and I love her all the more for it. I think she has started a new tradition today, and I think it might just be a healthy tradition. That the world may forget you or not count you as a mother, because you may not have actually have a child on this earth, but I now believe we deserve to be celebrated too. So yes, make yourself a nice breakfast like your kids would and get yourself a present, ask yourself 'what would they get me, something I wouldn't get myself' and take care of you!   You are no less a mother. The world may forget you, but don't forget yourself.   This tradition I am glad to say has carried on, even when I was homeless, to love myself as they would have loved me.    Yes I miss my mum on mother's Day and throughout the year, but do something she would have enjoyed and remember her in that moment, in the moments that she behaved like a mother.   Make space for her memory and make space for your grief.    @Ru-bee @RiverSeal @Jynx @rav3n @tyme 

Virtual cruise

  Virtual cruise here I come …. Who is coming with me? @tyme @Jynx @Shaz51 @Dimity @Oaktree @avant-garde @Till23 @Bunniekins      please invite anyone else 

New Veteran Spaces: Shoulder to Shoulder

Dear All,   In an exciting new partnership with Open Arms and Phoenix Australia, SANE forums is offering two forum Spaces tailored specifically for Veteran and Veteran families:   Click here to access Shoulder to Shoulder: Veterans   Click here to access Shoulder to Shoulder: Veteran Families   Alternatively, click on "Spaces" at the top of the page to access a range of spaces:                

~ EGG HUNT ~

EGG HUNT   Hey folks, seasonal greetings to everyone!! Today, I thought it’d be nice to do something a little silly. Similar to the Scavenger Hunt, except this one is much simpler.   Whoever posts the most pics of eggs over today, Sunday, & Monday, wins!!     Rules: Do NOT endanger yourself or anyone else in the efforts of taking a photo You may share photos of eggs, or illustrations of them. Illustrations must be clear picture of AN EASTER EGG, no big pile of teensy dots labelled ‘one million eggs’ or hundreds of overlapping ovals or anything sneaky like that!! Points for creativity, not for greed 😉 Photos – You can share photos you’ve already taken, go out and take photos, but NO IMAGE SEARCH or AI IMAGES!! Photos can include any eggs, not just the easter variety!  Photos can also include images of eggs - e.g. a poster at the grocery store, or a painting of an egg! KEEP GUIDELINES IN MIND – especially regarding anonymity, but also regarding being respectful of images others have shared   Competition kicks of RIGHT MEOW, and final entries must be in by 4pm Tuesday 22nd April!!      We also have TWO Side Quests!! As a community, we are gonna vote for two additional winners!! The Most Prettiest Egg Of All The Land And What the actual heck, that’s an EGG?!   Whoever finds the prettiest egg, or the strangest egg, as voted for by the community, also wins a prize!!   Prizes: Winner (most eggs) - $20 gift voucher! Winner (prettiest egg) - $15 gift voucher Winner (weirdest egg) - $15 voucher!!   Plus, ALL THE GLORY OF VICTORY!!   RAQ: (This means Recently Asked Questions, because @0ddsidian was the only one who asked them, and it was recent.... lol)   1. Does a bag of little cadbury eggs count as individual eggs? - Yep! But if they're still in the bag, I'll only count the ones I can see!   2. Do I have to do drawings OR photos? - Nope, free for all! Just upload as many pics of eggs as you can!!   3. Would each individual fish egg in caviar be included as 1 egg? So if I sent a photo of sushi with fish roe...? - As above, I will only count eggs that are visible! But yes, caviar is individual eggs!!    Happy Hunting!!

for those strange people who love rabbits

I love rabbits. all kinds of rabbits. they are a very misunderstood creature.  they are sensitive yet stubborn. need social interaction with other bunnies and people.  they are determined little souls and of course they are super cute.     This is a thread for rabbit lovers.

Share your thoughts on the 2025/26 budget!

Recording // Mental Health Webinar 9 // The Big 5 in Mental Health

    Mental health recovery webinar: The Big 5 in Mental Health  ️Featuring: Professor Nick Titov – The Big 5 with Mindspot    We all agree that our mental health is as important as our physical health. Unfortunately, most people are not aware of the things we can do to support our mental health, or how often we should do them. Research involving more than 20,000 Australians has identified five key actions we can do each day, the Big 5, which are strongly linked to mental health.   This presentation summarises the research evidence for the Big 5 and provides simple examples of how we can apply the Big 5 in our daily lives.    Includes a 20-minute Q&A.    About Professor Nick Titov  Nick Titov is a Professor of Psychology at Macquarie University, Australia. He has been involved in more than 100 clinical trials of psychological interventions across five countries. Nick has developed and led several digital mental health services which have deployed the interventions tested in trials into routine clinical care. He is the Founding Executive Director of the Australian MindSpot and MindSpot GP Clinics. MindSpot delivers psychological assessments and treatment via telephone and internet to more than 30,000 Australians each year. His current research interests include identifying the everyday actions people can take to support their own mental health.   

Punny Puns UNITE! ‘Dad’ jokes are welcomed (along with any other parental guardians)

So I’m a lover of a good pun, ‘dad joke’, and the drier or more painful the joke the better.   *** Im sure there’s policies around references to discrimination so please refrain, as I hope to spread the love of a good pun.   To start…   1. I went to buy coffee beans and asked them to grind it.They asked “How fine a grind?”I said “Fine”They asked “Are you sure?”I said “Yeah that’s … fine”I made the cashier cry that day 😆   2. Did you know mango has the highest sugar content out of all fruits?   It can really make a … man go.   3. I went to pick up my niece from school. She apologise for being a bit late because she’s waiting for her friend. I asked her “is your friend a bat?… because she’s hanging around.”   3. My cousin went to get her arm pit hairs lasered off. I asked her “how’s your pits? Are they … pitiful?”   4. I bought eggs at the local market. The seller help me choose out of 10 + varieties and said “I hope you enjoy them”.   I said back “you would know since you’re the EGG-spert”   ~ I hope the cringe was painful. Please bless me with more puns ~

Cuddles Corner - Show off your plushie buddies!!

It is time for CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!   Inspired by the wonderful @avant-garde and @Former-Member this thread is a spot for us to share our plushies, soft toys, fuzzy friends and heck, just any toys you enjoy!!    We love playfulness, we love silliness, and we love embracing our inner child - so come share what makes you feel like a giddy lil kid again, and show off your cuddley cuties!!    I'll kick us off with a few of my plushie pals!! 😁   I love dragonsssss 😄Eevee! In my light fixture heheThe Very Hungry Caterpillar comes for THEETrans icon Blåhaj!!

Coping with Grief

Grief is a natural human emotion that can arise from loss. Whether it be the loss of a loved one, an opportunity, a job, a possession, your health, a pet or anything else.  Whilst the feelings that come with grief can be painful, it is important to make space for these feelings. Pushing them down, pushing them away, or pretending that these feelings don't exist may in fact do more harm than good. It may inhibit the healing process, cause the grief to manifest as physical symptoms, or you may feel a lack of control over your emotions. So what are some tips for grieving? According to Griefline, here are some tips for grieving: 1) Seek Help and Comfort from Others 2) Take Care of Your Mental, Emotional and Physical Health 3) Continue the Bond with Your Loved One While Coming to Accept That They Have Gone 4) Establish Safety and Build Self-empowerment 5) Gain a Better Understanding of Yourself and a Healthy Future Outlook  We encourage you to read about the above tips here: https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief/   As a Community: - What have you found helps with grief? - Are there any experiences of grief you'd like to share?  

What your nervous system would say about living in Functional Freeze!

Hello to all Sane community members,   I hope life is being kind to you and that you are well. It is a little after 5am and I am wide awake, after an unfortunate relapase but I am doing okay. I was scrolling through instagram and I came across this post and wow, did it hit home for me. I know a lot about functional freeze but I have never quite read anything so informative and so true, about what it is like to be me. I had to draft the post into a word document for furture reference and I thought I would share it. I relate to every single word the author has written about the freeze response and its devastating long term effects on the mind, body and soul!!   What your nervous system would say about living in functional freeze:   I can't be rushed to change. This feels like too much pressure. But when you meet me with patience instead of frustration. When you offer atonement instead of force. When you stop trying to 'fix' me & learn to listen. That's when I'll soften. That's when l'll begin to trust that it's finally safe to feel alive again. The numbness, the heaviness, the emotions that seem to come out of nowhere, this is the stored energy asking to get unstuck, move through and be transmuted. I'm not trying to pull you backward, even though it might seem this way. I'm trying to find a way to bring us back to balance. I don't do this to punish you. I do this because, for so long, this was the only way to get through overwhelm. But the survival energy & trauma cycles never had the chance to move through me. And now they're waiting for the right time to be sensed and completed. Staying functional no matter what came at a price. That's why these days, joy feels distant. Why rest doesn't restore you. Why it's easier to think than to feel. Why you crave closeness but struggle to let it in. Because even though you're not in the past anymore, I'm still holding onto it. So, I helped you push it down. I made sure you could function no matter what was happening inside. And now, those around you might see or even admire your strength and resilience but they don't see what it cost you. I made you look calm, capable, and composed-because you had to be. This way, you became exceptional at solving problems, at carrying on, at doing what was expected. Not because you were always okay, but because for me this was the only way to help you survive. So I froze. To help you move forward, I numbed the parts of you that were hurt. I disconnected you from your body to protect you from overwhelm. I gave all my energy to keep you functional. And I buried everything you couldn't make sense of and process deep inside. You grew up in confusion. The people and communities who were supposed to make you feel safe also caused you harm. Love and relationships felt unpredictable. Connection came with a cost. I couldn't let you feel it all. Feeling it all would have been too much for the younger version of you. I know you wonder why you feel disconnected and far away from yourself. Why you can do all the 'right' things— work, socialize, take care of others-but still feel numb, exhausted, like you're just going through the motions. It's not because you're broken. It's because / had to protect you. If your nervous system could speak to you, this is what it would say about being stuck in freeze after trauma:   Be kind to yourself, and others. Stay safe and take care.    P 🤗

Women's health (TW)

Hello fellow forum dwellers,   I had no idea where to put this or what to call it but I think it needs a space... (so yes feel free to edit or move, but I don't think I've breached any guidelines @Ru-bee @rav3n @tyme not sure who else)   This is a place where you can talk all things specific to the female reproductive system or body... Periods Cervical Screening Tests (new name for pap smears)  Menopause Hormones Fertility issues ---------------------------------------------------- So here I'll go first    I'm due for a cervical screening test and I'm booked in for about 12 hours from now... They have these home kits but I can't be on my own after so I opted to have a female doctor do it, that and to check something else out... I can't even handle tampons without completely being triggered... let alone anything remotely medical!  Yeah I'm scared... There's a library next door almost and so after I'm going to either start a new sheet on my spreadsheet for the upcoming election or work on my photobook project... as a way to settle... and probably play bubble shooter...  

Roots & Resilience – Mental Health through Cultural Lens

Hello fellow forumites! 👋   As a daughter to first gen immigrants, I've found it difficult (and still do at times) to find my identity and navigate what it means to be brought up in a western world while also being ethnically South Asian. And then you throw mental health into the mix, and sometimes there's different challenges to face (i.e. language barriers, lack of cultural understanding, intergenerational trauma, religious and cultural stereotypes/discrimination, etc).    From the discussions I’ve had with others from multicultural backgrounds, a lot of us tend to share this feeling of ‘conflict’, where something in the western world may be viewed in one way but culturally, it may be the opposite – and sometimes dealing with cultural clashes on our own can be difficult. So, this thread here is a space for us to feel less alone and share things that have helped us feel more empowered in our mental health journeys. Even if you yourself haven't experienced any cultural clashes or challenges, feel free to engage - maybe there's a media representation that opened your eyes to mental health from a multicultural lens? or maybe you know someone who's overcome some cultural hurdles in their journey?    You’re all welcome to share any thoughts you have but in case you're stuck, here's a few prompts to get you started: What’s helped you deal with cultural stigmas when reaching out for support and/or talking about mental health? Share a quote/piece of advice/story that’s been impactful in your recovery journey. What are some books/movies/tv shows/celebrity stories/any other type of CALD representation that’s helped you feel seen or inspired?

We did it! SANE secures 3 year funding for forums and guided recovery

Hi SANE Community  It is my absolute pleasure and privilege to be able to share with you that SANE has successfully won sustainable funding to continue to deliver these forums and expand our guided recovery program to open to ALL postcode regions in Australia from 1 July.  I can’t even begin to describe the effort over the past four years that has gone into this and the enormous team effort behind the scenes, there have been times in the last four years where I have been genuinely worried about whether we would succeed and felt the huge weight of responsibility to you all to make sure your community would continue.  I am so, so thrilled to share that we did it - and this week Minister Mark Butler MP and Assistant Minister Emma McBride announced $27.3 million in funding to continue and expand nationally SANE’s digital mental health support for people and families with complex mental health needs.   

The Sane Cattery: Because normal is overrated

Welcome to The Sane Cattery, the totally rational, completely normal place where we - totally sane humans - gather to admire our feline overlords. This is a judgment-free zone (unless your cat is the one doing the judging, which, let’s be honest, they always are). Feel free to share photos of your majestic moggies, chaotic kitties, and everything in between. Whether they’re plotting world domination, defying the laws of physics, or simply loafing like sentient bread, we want to see them. Because nothing says "sane" like dedicating an entire discussion to our tiny, furry dictators.@tyme @avant-garde @Ru-bee @Former-Member  Allow me to begin...Here is our oldest, Roughy who is 9. Ryker, who is 7.  Trying to convince himself he still fits in this thing like a glove! And the latest edition, Luna (14 weeks)...and another one of Luna, 'cause she's so damn cute.  I have been instructed to say that she was in no way stuck, and was just testing my responsiveness. 

Recording // Mental Health Webinar 8 // The Power in Lived Experience in Mental Health

   The Power in Lived Experience in Mental HealthFeaturing: Tim Heffernan – Lived Experience Deputy Commissioner, NSW Mental Health Commission.   In this 60-minute community webinar, Tim Heffernan; Lived Experience Deputy Commissioner, NSW Mental Health Commission, shares his experiences as a Lived Experience leader within Australia’s mental health system and beyond. Gain valuable insights about:    How our healthcare system could look with more lived experience peer workers.  What lived experience peer workers are doing to drive policy and legislative change in Australia.  The different ways that lived experience peer workers are contributing to societal change and stigma reduction.      Includes a 20-minute Q&A session.     About Tim  Tim is the Lived Experience Deputy Commissioner at the Mental Health Commission of NSW. He is an experienced Consumer Peer Worker and is current chair of Being (NSW Consumer Advisory Group). He was co-Chair of the National Mental Health Commission’s National Stigma and Discrimination Reduction Strategy Steering Committee and Deputy co-Chair of the National Peer Workforce Development Guidelines Steering Committee. This year Tim joined the Official Visitor's Program.     Tim worked for five years in an identified Lived Experience position as Peer Coordinator with COORDINARE, the South Eastern NSW PHN and he is a founding member of the Illawarra Shoalhaven Suicide Prevention Collaborative. In 2013 he was awarded a scholarship to attend Boston University’s Global Leadership Institute to develop a seclusion and restraint reduction project, Safety for All.      An award-winning poet, Tim co-edits on online space for ‘Mad’ writing, ‘Clozapine Clinic – The Frater Project’ in the influential Australian journal ‘Verity La’. He has published widely and performed his poetry at the Wollongong Writers Festival, the Queensland Poetry Festival, the Big Anxiety Festival and at Mad Pride.     

Hobbies and Projects

@tyme @Jynx @Ru-bee @RiverSeal @rav3n @Jlol @Glisten @ENKELI @Former-Member @Shaz51 @TAB @Meowmy @Former-Member @The-red-centaur @StuF @Former-Member @Captain24 @MJG017 @Appleblossom    Hey guys,   Here is a space where you can share the results of your latest arts/crafts/hobbies or projects. This can relate to anything you like. Go nuts… Thanks to @Jlol for this idea

Recording // Mental Health Webinar 7 // Managing Relationship Breakdowns

    In this FREE 60-minute community webinar, CEO of Relationships Australia and clinical and counselling psychologist, Elisabeth Shaw, shares expert tips for managing relationship breakdowns over the holiday period and beyond.   This webinar is a safe and welcoming space where you will have the opportunity to connect with like-minded people and gain valuable insights about:   The grief and loss associated with relationship breakdowns Navigating conflict with loved ones Communicating and setting boundaries How mental health and relationships impact each other. Includes a 20-minute Q&A session.   About Elisabeth Elisabeth is the CEO of Relationships Australia (NSW) and a clinical and counselling psychologist who has focused her whole career on how people live and work well in relationships and communities. This has led her into post-graduate teaching, coaching, and consulting, and she has authored a number of publications in relation to relationships, clinical practice, organisational life, moral courage, and ethics. She is very proud to lead Relationships Australia NSW, part of the RA federated network across Australia, the foremost organisation in relationship well-being assisting NSW through the provision of therapeutic, trauma-informed support, mediation, education, and family safety services.     Watch the webinar here:    

Come celebrate the 10-year anniversary of SANE Forums!

Hey there fellow forumites! 👋   As we wrap up 2024 with our contemplation caps on, we invite you all to reflect on your most meaningful moments from the past decade. Why the past decade? Because SANE Forums is celebrating its 10-year anniversary! A decade of sharing stories, making connections, and learning and growing together.🫂   Whether you joined the community 10 years ago or just this morning, we want to hear from you! Sharing our experiences is one of our favourite forums staples after all.   As part of our way of showing thanks to the community, we wanna shower you with gifts! All members who contribute to this 10-year Anniversary discussion thread will be entered into a draw for a chance to win a $50 gift card - there’s a total of 10 gift vouchers up for grabs!       If you’re a stuck on what to talk about, we’ve got some lil prompts here for guidance:   What experiences have brought you strength over the past 10 years?   What lessons have you learnt over the past 10 years that have had a positive impact in your life?    Share a piece of advice or support you’ve received, or perhaps a post you have read on the Forums that has stayed with you?  Share your reflections on what was happening in your life 10 years ago, or some reflections on where you were at when you first joined the forums - or both! Can’t wait to hear from you all!✨

RECORDING // Mental Health Webinar 6 // Lived Experience of Hearing Voices //

        🎙️ Lived Experience of Hearing Voices    👩🏻‍ Featuring: Peta – Senior Peer Support Worker & Hearing Voices Group Facilitator at SANE     In this 60-minute community webinar, SANE senior peer support worker and Hearing Voices program facilitator, Peta, shares their experiences of Schizophrenia and how the Hearing Voices program helped shape their recovery, their family relationships and their career.    Hear first-hand about:  What it’s like to “hear voices”  The types of relationships people may have with their “voices”  The importance of self-help, mutual respect and empathy  Includes a 20-minute Q&A session.  About Peta  Peta (them/they) is the senior peer worker at SANE and a facilitator of the Hearing Voices program. They are passionate about mental health recovery and supporting people to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. Peta is qualified in community services and alcohol and other drugs, and is dedicated to working in the community services, mental health and gender identity sectors. Peta facilitates the Hearing Voices Group for SANE and has been running group programs and individual peer support sessions for 3 years.    

RECORDING // Carers Week Special Webinar // Navigating the path together: a Carer’s experience

      🗣️  Navigating the path together: a Carer’s experience.🎤  Sarah Martin – Mother, Carer, Author     Watch this FREE 60-minute recorded webinar, where we have an open, heartfelt conversation with Sarah Martin about her experiences caring for her daughter, Alice, and navigating complex mental health challenges together. Sarah shares her powerful story, from Alice’s first psychotic episode overseas in Istanbul to her later diagnosis of bipolar disorder. As the author of Dear Psychosis, Sarah speaks with honesty and courage about the guilt, fear, and grief she has faced as both a mother and carer.This special event is an opportunity to connect with others in the carer community and gain valuable insights about caring for someone with complex mental health needs, including:   Navigating grief and guilt as a carer   The impact of complex mental health issues on the whole family   Overcoming stigma and advocating for your loved one   Finding the right support for carers and families   About Sarah: Sarah Martin (sarahmartinauthor.com) is a perioperative nurse, mental health advocate, carer peer worker, and peer ambassador for SANE.    Her mission and passion is to break the silence and stigma of all mental health concerns, which is why she wrote Dear Psychosis, her first book, a narrative nonfiction about a family’s journey with mental health, psychosis, bipolar and depression.  Sarah is an international award-winning author, receiving first place in the Journey category of the Chanticleer Book Awards 2023. A winner in Self Help Memoir and a finalist in Health and Psychology at the Goody Business Book Awards 2023. 

How To

If you are new to Sane, Welcome!  On this thread I am going to leave some instructions for your first experiences in posting to help you out. I am still learning so I will ask others for help with these instructional posts.    Nice to have you here on the forums.

New and improved Community Forum – updates and support

We're excited to announce that today's launch of the new Forums layout marks the completion of our 2024 Forums enhancement project! 🎉 But this isn't the end - it's just the beginning! To continue supporting you through the changes, hear your thoughts on future improvements, and keep you updated on any refinements, we’ve created this new discussion thread. Here's what you can expect in this discussion: Updates on recent and upcoming Forum changes Tips to help you navigate the new features A place to share your feedback, suggestions, and any concerns you might have. Your voice is essential to shaping the future of the Forums, and we’re here to listen. Let us know how we can make things better, what’s working well for you, and any ideas you have for future improvements.

Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!

Hey Forumites!!    This is a space for members new and old, to gather around and help make our newer members feel welcome!    We've all been newbies ourselves at some point, and can empathise with how incredibly daunting it can be entering a new space. A lot of folks have trouble even knowing where to start, and (even though we're in the midst of improving it all) we know the forums can be a tricky space to navigate - which can make it very difficult for newbies to be able to find their footing! On top of that, joining any established community means being 'the new kid on the block', and seeing others connecting easily with established relationships can sometimes feel like we aren't welcome, or that we need to 'break in' to the conversation somehow.    Well this space aims to alleviate that pressure and help facilitate some new connections! Whether you're brand new here or you've been here since the very beginning, you're welcome to come hang out, meet some new people, reconnect with others, and maybe even make a new friend!   We will try to tag new members as they join, so help us make them feel welcome!  Here's today's newest forumites: @noodles1  @IndigOverwhelm  @Sam63  @Sosad01  @jsbpd  @JJll  @Andora  @riotgrrl  @HopeEverlasting  @Bellle    Feel free to tell us a little about yourself, what brought you to the forums, and what you're looking for here!   Tagging in our lovely bunch of Community Guides too! They're seasoned members who volunteer their time and energy towards making the forums a safe and welcoming place for everyone. We wouldn't have the community we do without their efforts and their passion! Feel free to reach out to them, they're always quite happy to help guide and support 😊 @Anastasia @BPDSurvivor @Eve7 @Faith-and-Hope @MDT @Judi9877 @outlander @Shaz51 @Snowie @wellwellwellnez @Zoe7     

Welcome! Introduce yourself here 🙂

New here? Welcome to the SANE Forums! We are so happy you found us and have joined our wonderful community. There are lots of people here like you, who can understand what you might be going through and offer valuable peer support.     You may see members reaching out to share their stories, asking questions about mental health, looking for others who get it, seeking support and offering support. We hope you find this a supportive and welcoming space to be.    We want to get to know you, and introduce you to other members of the SANE Community.    To get started, you can simply post here by clicking "reply" to introduce yourself and a fun fact or two about you.    Or, you can introduce yourself to the community by starting a new discussion thread! How to do that you ask? Follow the below steps to create your first post.   Click back into the Welcome & Getting Started topic area Click the ‘New Discussion’ Button Type in a subject title Enter your post (there are some helpful tips on how you can introduce yourself below) Then click post! You may see our Peer Support Workers welcoming new members in this space, so please reach out if you have any questions, or if we can help you get started 🙂 We are always happy to help! To reach us, @moderator or email us at team@saneforums.org. We look forward to getting to chatting soon